the intro...

Hello and welcome to my blog! I’m your hostess, Ladyface.

I'm a 27 year old queer femme sex worker. Between my fancypants day job and my super sexy side gig I spend a lot of time being an attentive, diplomatic Ladyface so this blog is where I’ll let my hair down...I might even curse. Though I curse like a kitten sneezes, which is too say it's infrequent and harmless and still shocks me more than anyone.

I am a sex positive lady and will write candidly about my kinks, my history, my exploits and my daily life (but only the good stuff). And so that I can write as openly as possibe, I'm keeping this space anonymous. All characters are real people in my life but all names are pseudonyms and always will be.




P.S. you can now follow me on Twitter! @1ladyface

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A femme walks into a Gyno's office...

I recently went to the gyno.  This is usually unfun but I love this new lady!  She’s approachable, informative, and seems genuinely invested in ensuring that her patients have the knowledge to advocate for themselves.  And I learned stuff.  I like to be prepared so of course I had my list of questions on hand.  The list ended with my most silly question.  It’s an awkward sex question so it was written down with an extra big question mark.  I didn’t think I’d be comfortable enough to ask it.

But by the end of my appointment I was very comfortable and had even added an additional awkward questions to my list.  This is what I learned:

Q. (with context) I like big toys.  Crazy ridiculous big.  But when I look at those doctors office anatomical drawings and then at my lovers cock, or fist…what?  I don’t think I have a particularly cavernous pussy.  So how the heck does that work?  Where does it GO?

A. The vaginal canal expands not only laterally to encompass the girth of a large toy but also vertically.  This is what I didn’t understand.  So the cock doesn’t go past the cervix (ouch) but the cervix gets pushed up and out of the way by the cock.  HOT.

Q. Is it possible to damage my lovely lady bits with LOTS of magical sex with hot transguys and their obscenely large cocks/fists/toys/organic zucchinis?

A. Not unless it’s particularly pointy.  In which case you could potentially hurt your pretty pink cervix.  So, you know, just don’t use your pole-vaulting pole.  (I’m talking to you Balian Buschbaum!)

I even referred my Mormon friend to Magic Gyno and the doctor was equally patient and informative with a woman who also had a lot of questions and concerns.  Very different questions and concerns from mine of course…but the doctor handled them with the same ease, candor and genuine care I experienced as an out hussy.

In conclusion, health is important.  So is your safety and comfort.  So go find a nice gyno, ask questions ahead of time to make sure he or she can rock the getting-to-know-you-before-I-get-all-up-in-your-business part of the exam and then get your shit checked out and your burning, yearning, itching, twitching, haunting, taunting questions/STIs attended to.  


  1. "So the cock doesn’t go past the cervix (ouch) but the cervix gets pushed up and out of the way by the cock. HOT."

    Hot is right. I had no idea that is what happens. I thought I just excessively pounded her cervix until it accommodated me. That is an excellent piece of knowledge that I will pass on to future lovers. ;-)

  2. I was just wondering whether anyone bothers to read the older posts. So thanks for reading back this far! As for sex, yeah, I had no idea how that worked with big toys. Aren't bodies amazing?