So I’m gonna set some goals going
forward and post them here to help hold me accountable because that’s what my
life coach would tell me to do.
The Ladyface Schedule:
Mascara Monday
-the day I go to
work on 3-4 hours of sleep. Of my
stripper makeup the mascara is the hardest to get off so I go to work wearing a
bit more mascara than the average office lady. The goal for the day is just to stay awake.
-yoga in the
evening if I’m not too sleepy and sore from dancing
Fat Tuesday
-the one day I can
eat whatever I want because I’ve spent the rest of the week eating millet
flakes, soy yogurt and kale
-walk the dog
Writing Wednesday
-post on the blog
-walk the dog
Recovery Thurrrrrsday (okay that
one’s not quite an alliteration)
-Al Anon (Inmate 12004 and I were lovers and I
didn’t realize until recently how much the year and a half we spent together is
still affecting me. Please read
his blog: originalplumbing.com
He’s trying to get his life back on track and needs love and support now
more than ever.)
-take out the
trash and sometimes my nuvaring but not in that order
-walk the dog
Foot Fetish Friday
-reply to any foot
fetish clients who have emailed me
-pole dance class
if I’m not scheduled at the strip club
-walk the dog
SAT Saturday
-tutor
-strength and
flexibility class if I’m not scheduled at the strip club
-walk the dog
Slutty Sunday
-take my pup for
an epic run
-strip
Oh my goodness! I just realized I never wrote about the
end of the New Years Resolution.
It happened. I’ll write
about that and the audition process and the club and all that good stuff soon
but those will be longer entries.
So for now:
On AA (archetypes/associations):
Isn’t it interesting what people
project onto you? I knew going
into the stripping thing that I’d encounter all kinds of interesting fantasies
but there have been a few surprises along the way. So far each shift at least 3 separate people have told me I
look “just like” Natalie Portman.
I don’t look like Natalie Portman, but it’s a very nice compliment. Thank goodness for beer goggles and
crummy lighting! I am a slim
brunette with a classic look and I do look much more vanilla than a lot of
my super sexy coworkers who have tattoos and unnatural hair colors. It would be more accurate to say that I
look more like Natalie Portman than the majority of my coworkers and that they
look more like Joan Jett than I do.
Anyway, the Natalie Portman
association is very flattering so I
didn’t think I’d care what else they associate me with but I’ve had an
unsettling surprise. I go by Ava because
it complements my look and it’s easy for men to remember. I had Ava Gardner in mind when I chose
the name; it has a classic feel
but isn’t an immediate association.
If I called myself Monroe or Bettie that would be a bit too obvious and pretentious. But when
I’ve introduced myself as Ava several men have said “Oh, like Eva Braun?” Do you know who Eva Braun is? I didn’t. She was Hitlers lover.
Yipes. I would never date a man in a double breasted suit with pleated front pants and terrible facial hair. So I guess I do care who patrons associate me with. But really guys, I’m happy to give you a ridiculously
raunchy lap dance and you can imagine me as a nurse or a school teacher or even
your own mother but please don’t think of me as a Nazi, that makes me all kinds
of uncomfortable.
This might soon be a moot
point. A few men have begun
calling me Natalie Portland and it seems to be gaining momentum. As far as I know she isn’t a
Nazi, so that’s nice.
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