the intro...

Hello and welcome to my blog! I’m your hostess, Ladyface.

I'm a 27 year old queer femme sex worker. Between my fancypants day job and my super sexy side gig I spend a lot of time being an attentive, diplomatic Ladyface so this blog is where I’ll let my hair down...I might even curse. Though I curse like a kitten sneezes, which is too say it's infrequent and harmless and still shocks me more than anyone.

I am a sex positive lady and will write candidly about my kinks, my history, my exploits and my daily life (but only the good stuff). And so that I can write as openly as possibe, I'm keeping this space anonymous. All characters are real people in my life but all names are pseudonyms and always will be.

Enjoy!

xoxo

-Ladyface

P.S. you can now follow me on Twitter! @1ladyface

Showing posts with label Saturday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Saturday. Show all posts

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Puppy Pies

Today I woke up, wrote three letters and took the pup on a walk to the post office and the library.

On the way to the post office I had to stop to pick up the pups poop and as I stood up I realized that a bus had stopped for me.  Oops.  So I smiled at the driver and flashed him the international signal for “Nope, don’t need a ride.  Just picking up dog shit.  Have a nice day!”  Darnit pup.

Then she decided she needed to go again as we were walking by the bank.  As soon as she squatted two raggedy men at the ATM started screaming at each other and within seconds five cop cars squealed into the parking lot.  Five.  It was weird.  They must have been waiting.  Maybe it was a sting.  Or a music video.  But the puppy watched unconcerned while I pulled her down the street to the post office. 

My pup is a ridgeback mix so it’s really easy to tell if she’s upset.  When her hackles are up she gets a supercool insta-faux-hawk. I’m consistently surprised what upsets her and what doesn’t phase her a bit.  Mom steps into the post office for a minute and she wears her concerned face the whole time (the post office has big windows so she’s never out of my sight) but an altercation involving five cop cars, neat!  Come on mom, let’s just hang out a bit to see where this goes.
Dear Pup,

Mom really does know best.  You’re gonna have to trust me on that.  I promise I will never forget you at the post office.  And speaking of mail, the mailman isn’t out to get you so you can stop jumping up on the coffee table and growling at him every time he approaches the house.  It’s rude and it’s not working.  You’ll never be a guard dog.  Sorry baby.  Even when you’re growling you look like a pudgy harmless snuggle pup.  That’s why he laughs and smiles and waves instead of cowering.  But you’re cute as a button and excellent at cuddles!    

Love always,

Mom

p.s. Please pick better poop times.

*image from icanhascheezburger

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Feeling Stripperific!

I realized today that I’ve been posting too many lists.  I’ll get back to posting regular blog entries this weekend but this one needs to be in list form because my brain is too scrambled to write like a normal human bean.
I’m getting ready to audition at my favorite strip club this Saturday.  I’m excited and terrified just like the first time I got lit on fire (but this time I won’t be blindfolded).

In preparation for my audition I have:
-visited the club on a slow weeknight and picked as many stripper brains as possible to get as much information as possible.  They were all very friendly and helpful.
-completed ½ of a pole dance class series
-started running again to keep my bum perky
-worked out a somewhat choreographed routine
-had a weird anxiety dream that my real-life boss was coaching me on my routine
-done a hair and makeup dress rehearsal
-bought stripper heels
-spent a week wearing my stripper heels around the house to break them in.  I’ve been 6 feet tall while: vacuuming, doing dishes, feeding the dog and cleaning the bathroom.
-picked a name then changed my mind a million times before finally coming back to the first name I had chosen
-picked a song then changed my mind a million times before finally coming back to the first song I had chosen
-picked an outfit then changed my mind a million times before finally coming back to the first outfit I had chosen and 
-scheduled a Brazilian  

So I think I’m all set. 

…now I just have to remember to take my clothes off.