Lawn Bowling Anyone?

Laying in bed this morning, this was my thought process: I have the day off and I kinda wanna get out and see people.  But I also really don’t wanna get into an overwhelming social situation full of well-meaning extroverts that will leave me drained and vaguely irritated.  What I’d really like is to host a read-in and serve ice cream to a select few of my lovely friends. 

Then the mail came and there was my AARP card, again.  I’ve been getting AARP cards in the mail since high school despite being about 30 years too young and living in half a dozen different places since then.  As I tossed the red and white envelope into the trash I finally realized what the universe has been trying to tell me for the last decade.  I'm not young at heart, I'm old at heart!  And that is the perfect introvert-friendly party theme.  

Ideas for your next "Old at Heart" party:

Invite a few close friends, read large print mystery novels, do crossword puzzles, listen to opera, knit, wear comfortable shoes, write letters to your elected officials and overshare about your bodies.  (queers do the last two on their own anyway)  Serve soft foods, an assortment of teas as well as stevia-sweetened biscuits for the diabetic party-goers.  The party should start at 7 am, or 3 pm if you're up for making it a  dinner party, in which case you may need one of these:

You could even provide optional earplugs for guests seeking a more authentic experience.  Yes.  If people my age behaved more like the elderly I’d be a much more social human.   

So, where can I get a croquette set?  And if I make jello in a bundt cake pan do I hafta grease it first?  That sounds nasty but how else do you get it to come out so perfectly?  I clearly have a lot to learn about elderlydom before I can do this party theme justice.  I think I’ll start by repairing that old quilt my dog chewed up while listening to Betty Whites audiobooks.

*image 1 from futureofthecookbook.com (did anyone catch the "jello relish"?)

*image 2 from thekitschbitsch.blogspot.com

*image 3 from inmagine.com